CHRISTMAS WARS
by Inuyasha-chibi
Summary: The G-Boys are at it again.. Their chibish selves are inviting the other Gundam characters from different show over for Christmas. A mystery character and more to come. (And what's this, Duo goes Scrooge)
1. Duo Stole Christmas

Christmas Wars

Yes, another Gundam story with the G-Boys and their hilarious comments.. This just happens to be about Christmas.

Disclaimer: I would, if I could.. But I didn't.

Trowa was cooking a Christmas dessert, when..

"Lets see… A one-fourth of butter, half a cup of milk, and a-"

"HI TROWA!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!"

Duo snuck up from behind the apron wearing Trowa, and startled him so bad that he had mix splattered all over himself and anything with in a 5 foot radius.

"Hello Duo," snarled Trowa grudgingly.

"What ja up too?"

"Cooking some brownies… Please, you know how many times I tell you to stay out of the kitchen when others are cooking. So for once, could you just listen?"

"What you say," said Duo as he apparently had been licking off all the mix that had been splattered.

Trowa sighed, "Since this is Christmas time, I'll be nice enough to 'Kick' you out of the kitchen, instead of shooting you out."

Trowa kicked Duo until he went into the living room.

"Hmmm.. Nobody's gotten any Christmas gifts yet.. We need to go buy some.." thought Duo, as he looked at his penniless wallet, were money should have been.

"Let's see… I'll just Borrow some from Quatre," said Duo, smiled evilly to himself, as he pulls out his Virgin cell phone. "Hey, Quatre! No, I don't want tea… I just wanted to ask you, since you keep on blaming your self for everything you do wrong and that I want to make to go into self-pity for my benefit, Can you lend me some money?"

Duo waits awhile as Quatre starts crying about the time he made the plan about sending the Gundams into the sun.

"Yes, it was your fault… Now give me some money."

Duo stares greedily as he watches from Heero's laptop his banking account rise.

"Muwahahahaahahaahaha," laughs Duo, as Heero comes in with a boom box on his shoulder, playing the Grinch music as a background. Heero does a sing along to it for Duo.

"You're a mean one Mr. Maxwell  
You really are a heel.  
You're as cuddly as a cactus,  
And as charming as an eel,  
Mr. Maxwell!  
You're a bad banana,  
With a greasy black peel!  
You're a monster, Mr. Maxwell!  
Your heart's an empty hole.  
Your brain is full of spiders.  
You've got garlic in your soul,  
Mr. Maxwell!  
I wouldn't touch you  
With a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!  
You're a vile one, Mr. Maxwell!  
You have termites in your smile.  
You have all the tender sweetness  
Of a seasick crocodile,  
Mr. Maxwell!  
Given the choice between the two of you,  
I'd take the seasick crocodile!  
You're a foul one, Mr. Maxwell!  
You're a nasty, wasty skunk!  
Your heart is full of unwashed socks.  
Your soul is full of gunk,  
Mr. Maxwell!  
The three words that best describe you  
Are as follows, and I quote,  
"Stink, stank, stunk!"  
You're a rotter, Mr. Maxwell!  
You're the king of sinful sots!  
Your heart's a dead tomato,  
Splotched with moldy, purple spots,  
Mr. Maxwell!  
Your soul is an apalling dump-heap,  
Overflowing with the most disgraceful  
assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable,  
Mangled-up in tangled-up knots!  
You nauseate me, Mr. Maxwell!  
With a nauseous super naus!  
You're a crooked jerky jockey,  
And you drive a crooked hoss,  
Mr. Maxwell!  
You're a three-decker sauerkraut  
and toadstool sandwich,  
With arsenic sauce!" Heero closes it with a little robotic dance ending.(song can also be used for the Nanny, A/N)

"Duo, Let's go shopping before the other Gundam wanna bes show up," said Wufei.

"Mehehehehe.. Alright," chuckles Duo as he has evil thoughts about Christmas shopping.

"Who took my boom box," shouts Trowa from the kitchen, as the smell of burning turkey rushes in.

"Oops, gotta run," says Heero as he steals Wufei's newly bought Jaguar, and drives to the mall.

"Noooo, Injustice! But mostly, Noooooooo!, shouts Wufei as he takes the mini van that belonged to the G-Boys, and drove off at a Mad speed.

Quatre appeared next to the staring Duo and Trowa, not knowing what happened.

"My, aren't they in the Christmas spirit," said Quatre cheerfully.

Short chappie, but it gets better… Please R&R.

(look at the button.. See the button.. Click the button..)


	2. Chappie2 We need a Ride

Chappie2 We need a Ride

Okay, I am updating this ASAP, so I won't forget… Memory.. Failing.. AAAAAAAAH!

Spanish class, is pushing out the very ESSENCE of my humor. sob Barely time to type.

'-thought

"-speech

( )-indirect or direct action that I had no time to type to make sense.

Disclaimer: I said NO!

Quatre stares off into outer space. While Duo and Trowa try calling a cab.

'Why is it that bad things happen only to me? Why do I do everything wrong? Why do my clothes make me so fashion coordinated? Why am I-' started thinking Quatre, as Geico wouldn't insure him for his stolen car.

'Why do you ask stupid questions in your head? Why do you act so girly? Why is it that you playing instruments and like operas, and still you're rich? And WHY am I hearing all about this, when it's YOUR thoughts in My head?!' interrupted Duo telepathically, while drinking coffee and spilling it all over the phonebook and Heero's laptop.

"Duo, your spilling coffee over Heero's laptop!" says Trowa shockingly.

Duo glares back with another evil grin.

"Dude, he should've gotten a Dell," replies Duo mockingly.

Trowa scoffs, and goes back to burning more of the Christmas dinner with the cute little apron he was wearing that said 'Kiss the Pilot.'

Quatre pulls out of his disturbingly deep thought.

"Hey guys, let's just take our Gundams to the mall!" says Quatre cheerfully.

"Naaaaw, and wile we're at it, let's start another war," mocked Trowa.

"Hey, you got a point,there,Trowa! Let's start a Christmas War!" says Duo, with his hyper levels starting to rise from the coffee.

"But I was only-" started Trowa.

"Come on!"

Duo grabs Quatre and flings them with caffeine-hyper strength, into their Gundams, as he starts flying his Gundam to the mall.

"Should we stop him?"

"Na, I think this will be actually, kind of fun. Let's go join him," says Trowa, as he stars up his Gundam like a car.

**Remiera-You'll get your wish! I'mm going to be updating almost everyday until the 17th.(not going to at her house cause she's going to go see Mickey Mouse Christmas. Mehehehehehe.)**

OOOPSIE! I thought this chapter was going to be when they were going shopping, but I guess it's the next. Sorry. Please R&R.


	3. Chappie3 Where's My Cart?

Chapter3 Where's my Cart?!

Thank-you for reviewing, the story is a little fast paced, and OOCed a lot, but isn't that the beauty of it. Keep the reviews coming, they REALLY keep me typing, and enjoy. Oooh, and sorry for all you Hippies out there, no offense, just wait. They'll get there shining glory.(shiver, "don't hurt me!")

Disclaimer: (singing cheerfully) No, No, No, No, No!

Duo parked his Gundam right on top of a shiny new Buick.

"Man, I gotta quit drinking coffee at the wheel," he said sarcastically, as the Buick's car alarm screeched.

"Dude, you just squashed my ride," said an angry Hippie, as the tie-dyed t-shirt burned Duo's eyes.

"Too.. Much… Color… Black is the only color for you," shouts Duo as he pulls out a pail of oil and pours it over from the side of the Gundam, splashing the man below. "Oops, it slipped, Silly me!"

The Hippie starts cursing off, but Duo, Trowa, and Quatre, ran off before the security guards caught them.

Meanwhile

"Dude, where's my car?"

Wufei kept putting his car key alarm pad out to find his stolen car in the HUGE parking lot.

"Dude, where's your car?" said Heero mimicking.

"Dude, WHERE's my car?" said Wufei, as he still bleeps for it. (Hmm.. Does this sound familiar..)

"Dude, WHERE's your car?" replies Heero playfully, as he starts RPing form the movie.

Wufei bleeps it, in annoyance, at the garbage dumpster area, as he spun around to yell at Heero.

BWEEP! BWEEP!

"Dude, there's your car!" says Heero, still role-playing.

"INJUSTICE! I'm SOOOO going to kill you after Christmas," mumbled Wufei.

"Mommy! Mommy! It's Santa! Santa's ring a bell!" yelled a little kid pointing to a Charity Santa, in front of the mall.

"Where! I wanna shoot him, for not getting me a new Wing Zero, when it exploded last year," shouted Heero in a crazed way.

"Ohh, No! Not HIM, again! Every year! I quit," yelled the Charity Santa as he ran for cover in the mall, with a gun-crazy Heero following him close behind.

Wufei shakes his head sadly, as he trailed behind them, "Heero, needs his gun licenses revoked."

Heero thought he was going to catch the Santa, until he ran into the food court that was FULL of Santa's.

"All you Charity Santa', he knows.. Get him!" said the chased Charity Santa, who was standing on a table doing a Matrix speech, but fell off when the angry mob of Santa's took off.

"Gah! Not… Enough… Ammo… No.. Fit.. For.. Endurance.. Run..," panted Heero as he passed the stunned Wufei, who just caught up to him and saw the mob.

"What… You.. Do!..," ran Wufei as he struggled not to get trampled be the fat, red-wearing, men.

"I ran into the food court, and come to find out, they had a conspiracy at the cookies stand," replied Heero, just as he saw a familiar figure run by with a long braid.

"Duo, why you-," started Heero, but soon found his answer.

"No time to talk, just run this way," shouted Duo as he made a sharp turn.

Behind the five pilots was a HUGE army of tie-died T-shirts, and red, lumbering toward them, full of Santa's, and angry Hippies. Each part of the mobs members would stop and recruit more to the angry bunch.

"They sure don't know the meaning of Christmas spirit, do they?" said a near death-from-lack-of-ANY-exercise Quatre.

"Yah, I think they do, but I also think they have a little too much," replied Trowa as he gracefully ran along, "This run is nothing, compared to the circus. I can run for hours, and hours, and hours-"

Three minutes later, as most of the G-boys start to give in week kneed.

"And hours, and hours, and hours, and (takes a breath) hours," finished Trowa, as he started to lose his breath a little.

Quatre pulls out his cell phone, and no sooner did he say a sentence, Rashid appeared magically.

"Master Quatre! We will fight till the end! For we are the humble servants, the Maguanac's Corps," said Rashid, as the Maguanacs ran up behind them, and fought against the two armies of Santas and Hippies, so the G-Boys

"Turn this corner," shouted Trowa, as they kept pacing themselves.

The turned the corner and ran through a narrow door, which was the mall's bathroom.

"This is the Perfect spot to hide!" said Duo, grinning.

"Yah, but why are their toilets different? And why is there a weird box on the wall, that every time you put in money, out pops this weird tubed-dynamite device?" asked Quatre holding a tampon.

"Heero!"

A woman with long, blonde hair, rushed at Heero, as he screamed in horror.

"Relena?! What are you doing in the Men's bathroom?" he yelled.

"The question is, Why are you in the girls?" said Relena, giggling, and pointing to the lady symbol on the door.

"So that explains the baby station," said Quatre.

"That was a baby station?!" said Duo, sitting on top of it.

**Lord Scribbles- Switching tenses is what makes it funny, it keeps you guessing what else will ruin the moment.**

**Kage- D..o..t…… I…w..i..ll…**

Next chapter, I don't know what I'll do.. Maybe it will be a surprise. I have to admit, this chapter, I was scared to post… (scared, no flames please) I also know this story has A LOT of puns, but puns are cool.. Right?

Some of you may not have read my other fanfics, so if you want to read an already finished G-Boy humor fic, try my favorite called Disney Wars. The first OOC fanfic that I made.(Yay!)


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